It's so easy to look back over mommyhood and see mostly failure. It's also easy to stake a premium importance on what other people think about how we parent. Being a mom is hard, and that is an understatement. But constantly comparing ourselves with each other and demanding perfection from ourselves takes our job from exhausting to impossible.
I hate failing. I think it's safe to say that you do too. I think that's why we mammas are so hard on ourselves. Demanding this super human perfection, trying to portray images of a peaceful home life, and standing out from the thousands of other moms doing the same thing is unrealistic. Yet in a world of Photoshop and mommy blogging, it's all but expected. Social media doesn't cater to the stressed out mommy with last night's mac'n'cheese still in her hair, grateful to just find a clean pair of underwear! Laugh all you like, but the painful truth is that reality is more accurate than the one showcasing spotless white couches with little boys snuggled up reading Cat In the Hat. And yet for some reason, we are still drawn to that dreamy, yet fantasy world. We try to convince ourselves that if we were just a little more organized, maybe cooked with organic ingredients, or just wore makeup, we might achieve perfect mamma status.
But there is no satisfaction in chasing after perfection. I should know.
Satisfaction comes in knowing that no matter how much you love your kids and how much you want to give them a head start in this life, Jesus loves them more and has bigger plans than you could ever anticipate. And that when you think you totally blew it as a mamma, he takes those broken pieces and makes the most incredible mosaic. Satisfaction comes in knowing that even though you don't want to, you will fail, but grace is failure's constant traveling companion.
I think we are far more willing to extend grace to others when they stumble than to ourselves. But if you think about it, that is downright snobby. It's as though we are holding ourselves to a higher standard than we hold others. But what is even worse, is that we are holding ourselves to a standard that God doesn't even hold us to. Perfection isn't something we achieve, it is our state of being in Christ. To say that we can achieve perfection is to negate Christ's work on the cross for our sins.
Mommying in grace is just mommying for real. It means doing your best at honoring God in even the most nittly-gritty acts of mommying. But it also means knowing that your best will always fall short. It means stomping your feet and yelling at God that this job is too hard for you and then hearing him whisper, "I know, that's why I'm going to do it through you." It means acknowledging your complete weakness to the Lord, so that his strength will be able to work perfectly in you without your interference. Mommying in grace means basking in the nurturing that we receive from the Perfect Nurturer and sitting back and watching him nurture our babies through us.
So go soak in a bubble bath of God's grace today. Ask him to show you how he looks at you. Then ask him to fill you to overflowing so that his grace, not your goals, will guide your home this year.
Happy Mother's Day to all imperfect mothers everywhere, 'cause perfect mothers don't exist.